All for not

Recently I have been struck by the level of vanity in my life. Leah Morgan preached at the Women's conference and proclaimed boldly, as she should have, that anything that doesn't make you alive on the inside are the things that wont mean a thing when we meet Jesus. That means the Gucci sunglasses I want, the anthro dresses I own, this computer in front of me, my CD collection, the doted upon VW, my cell phone, insert your favoirite thing here isn't going to matter at all in just a minute.

I was cruising around myspace today checking up on old school friends and my heart broke. People that I once knew to love integrity, morality and just plain being nice swallowed whole by the spirit of the age...this of course I do not count as their fault but rather mine.

Morality, integrity and genuine care are all sweet characteristics but unless they are the fruit of the Spirit they also are all for not. People knew I was one of those radical Christians in high school, but what does it even matter? I don't think it really mattered that they knew it or saw it because it wasn't contagious enough to change anyone...if I truly made an impact it was only through intercession, which brings me to my next point; this place is real. What happens here is written in heaven, not only here of course but anywhere people pray, places where angels and demons are affected, places where hell is losing it's grip, places where the foxes are trapped and no score is kept is where vanity has no place. I want my life to mean something for real, something other than not, something that was poured out seriously. My desire used to be to change the world but now it is simply to be changed and let my testimony ring from the rooftops. I have come here to die.