A long way from home

Times like this make me realize that I have a long long way to go. You know what I'm talking about, times where momentary light afflictions make you want to curse and trade all your oil for mud to sling at the afflictor...unfortunately my oil would translate to very little mud therefore making me the fool cubed. Why are Matthew 5, 6 and 7 so hard? Answer me that...I know you can't...why is simplicity so difficult? Be silent...why is that hard? Why is it easier to curse the thing bringing you closer to home then to take it like a wo/man and just die? This is what I'm saying to myself today...just die already...but when momentary light afflictions and vapors feel like they surely aren't either of those cursing comes easily...my flesh is grass but it fights quite the fight for something that will be food for cows...why is that? I don't understand...

You, yes You, You're crazy...You know it too, it's the way You made it...You said to Yourself this is crazy...let's have them do that...You crazy Uncreated You...Silly Jesus tricks are for kids...not Uncreated Beings that rule and reign with a rod of iron...okay, so I don't know Your hobbies, and I definitely don't understand You...okay...I'm done now...I'll get back to my vapor and love You...You rockin' crazy rocker You. I love You more than anything...I pick the momentary light affliction, that the grass would die and a sweet offering would be given up to You. Let's hang out so I can know Your hobbies, what things deserve a Shandai and what things I can laugh at...bring it on...I'm coming home dang it, I know the way.